Grand forks gay bars

That changed when Stoner was introduced to the Plain Brown Wrapper fork coming out during their freshman year. For decades in the grand s and early s, the adult entertainment store located in what is now Romantix in downtown Grand Forks served as one of the main places in town where gay men could meet.

The business replaced a clothing store in downtown Grand Forks, on the corner of Kittson Avenue and Third Street, in the s, according to archival Grand Forks Herald coverage. Referred to as "the dirty bookstore," "the Wrapper" and "PBR" due to some misspelled signage, the front of the store held a wide variety of adult products that drew in all types of people, while the back was where people "cruised," or sought partners.

Richard L. Hagen, who learned about the location during his early adulthood in the mids, after having an encounter at a similar establishment in Fargo, agreed that people often went to the Wrapper with friends, gay to make new ones. His group of friends would walk around the arcade area, hang out and meet new fork, or sit outside on the hoods of their cars on hot summer nights.

Some people never went inside, only meeting outside on foot or by driving through the area. They didn't immediately meet people in or outside the Wrapper, but instead would sit alone, thinking, "'There are gay people here. Being in that space helped them realize they weren't alone, no matter how it felt, Stoner said. There didn't seem to be a space like this for gay women, though, they said.

Women often met instead through social groups and more private gatherings. So they would go to the Plain Brown Wrapper, and that gay be how they navigated that. Though there was a level of secrecy and an expectation of privacy when meeting at the Wrapper, its status as a meeting location for gay men was well-known.

It felt like a less vulnerable and more reliable space to meet other gay men. Whether seeking a bar encounter or a serious relationship, it was risky to be a gay man approaching another man who may be gay, but also may be closeted or straight. People were beat up, Hagen said.

But a large number of people who came to the Wrapper — many of whom were university students or Air Force Base employees — were closeted. It's what the homophobia in our community does to people. Despite strides being made throughout the state and nation within the last few decades, and the legalization of same-sex marriage 10 years ago, some people continue having affairs rather than being honest and authentic to themselves, whether because they don't want to hurt their loved ones or they bar some other consequence, Stoner said.

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Especially in certain parts of the state, no matter how similar a gay man is to a straight one, he is still seen as the "other," or "less than," Hagen said. Alternatively, Stoner said they have observed a shift; as people become more comfortable creating their own spaces within any place they occupy, they may not appreciate the ones that were created to welcome — and even celebrate — them.

Stoner stressed the importance of community that exists in those physical spaces, whether gay bars, advocacy groups or stores like the Plain Brown Wrapper. While employed at the Wrapper in the early s, regulars would often give them information about community events and ongoing political issues.

They provided a community space that we're not getting at these other places. That's how business works. Editor's note: Although there was a time when it largely carried negative connotations, the word "queer" in recent decades has been widely reclaimed as a common catch-all term for a diverse range of gender identities and sexual orientations.

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