Crossdressing 7 year old at gay bar

Your child is gay. It was not what you had in mind, and you instantly wonder where you went wrong. When you become a parent, you know to expect the unexpected. But for many Christian parents, nothing can prepare them to hear that their beloved child is gay. This is the child you have cradled, spoon fed mashed bananas, and dreamed a beautiful future for.

How could this be? What will the church say? What will your friends say?

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What does the future hold? If you are a Christian parent, family member or friend to whom your loved one has come out as gay or lesbian, then this is for you. My hope is to guide you as we walk for a bit through this maze of confusion, to help you find your way to wholeness. In many Christian circles, this is not good news, and you may begin to spiral into reflection and self-searching.

But at the bottom of it all, this is not about you. This is not something your child did to you. In fact, it really has nothing do with you. To my surprise, God completely shifted my understanding and revealed to me the many people who had a great childhood are still gay. He also reminded me of the many straight people who had traumatic childhoods, yet remained straight.

Your expectations may lay shattered at your feet. But those are your expectations for your child. Ask God to replace your vision for your child with His. They likely did not tell you the first time they noticed their same-sex attraction. In fact, they have probably lived with this quite a long time.

They had to discover how true it was. Perhaps they dated the opposite gender to see if passion might develop, and yet none did. You may have to work through a slate of brand new emotions about this, and your emotions will affect them, but theirs are not brand new. Do not ask them if they are sure, if maybe they want to take a little time and see what happens.

Instead, consider the journey they have been through. Imagine for a moment the courage it took to tell you about their sexuality, especially when they know it seems to contradict your core beliefs. You may flood with fear, doubt, anger, grief, disappointment, shame, anguish or guilt, but do not let those hinder you from expressing your unconditional love and admiration for your child.